Friday, June 09, 2006
To Be or Not to Be True to Thine Own Self
My teacher asked us to explain that line from Hamlet, and most of us responded that it meant to always speak and act in accordance with one’s beliefs and ideals. And because we were young, optimistic, and not yet jaded by the world, we also assumed that Polonius was advising Laertes to act with integrity and honor—sage advice from a loving father. I was a bit disillusioned when my teacher, Mr. Taylor, offered another possible meaning.
“Maybe Polonius was instructing Laertes to watch out for “Number 1”, to put his own wants and needs above everyone and everything else—in essence to be chiefly concerned with promoting his own self-interest.” As I re-read the passage and thought about it, I realized it was a valid interpretation, although not one that appealed to my innocent altruism. I wanted to see people as good, generous, and benevolent, not selfish, narcissistic, and self-absorbed.
“To thine own self be true.” Recently I’ve mused on the relevance of those two interpretations of that Shakespearean line, as I’ve contemplated what it means to live a “true” life. As in my youth, I still think now that it means living with integrity. It means adhering to principles and standards that are moral and decent. It means doing the right thing, and for the right reason. Often though, selfish desires, and egotistical wants that we perceive as viable needs, motivate our actions. We are fiercely loyal, but primarily to ourselves and our self-serving, and often, arrogant, agendas. We justify and rationalize choices that, even in the making, we realize are not entirely square with the character to which we aspire.
The road to self-actualization twists and winds and at every turn there is a new situation that challenges our commitment to be true to ourselves. In many of these situations, if we do not suspend our patent self-absorption, we will find ourselves actually backtracking. Living up to our potential ultimately requires self-sacrifice. It is an arduous, long run that is fueled by resilience and persistence, patience and endurance.
That said, I agree with you Cyppy that the road to self-actualization is a long and winding one. Along this long road are many places to stop, rest and check our direction. It is also a road that is not travelled alone. We need the support of many others to reach the end.
Michael: I too am attracted to personalities that are humble and selfless. It is as if they are beacons along the way to guide us.
Cyppy, from what you have written (and not just in this post), I think you are one of those bright beacons guiding us along.
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